Are you hard on yourself at times, or all the time? I feel that being critical is an extension of the ego, a defense mechanism against failure, and a manifestation of perfectionism. We can be our own biggest critic and I’m guilty of that. It can have an impact on every part of our lives.
I’ve struggled with being hard on myself at work and for not being good enough. Sometimes I even stress about a small purchase I made, or other trivial matters. There is an element of never living up to my own expectations. This feeling can be relentless. For a while I have tried to be less self-critical and more self-loving.
I recently came across this article from the Harvard Business Review which validated some of my feelings and offered tools to help those who struggle with being hard on themselves. The two strategies that stuck with me are, “naming your critic” and, “redefining your definition of success”. Naming your critic involves literally attaching a name to your internal critic, to distance yourself from your critical side. Sometimes I just need to tell my inner critic to “shut up!” Humanzing the inner critic can shed light on my critical nature, and also lay it out to be assessed and discounted.
The idea of “redefining your definition of success” more speaks for itself. It involves changing your idea and standards of what qualifies as a win. Sometimes our goals and expectations are so lofty, we can never live up to them. I am often feel like I’m struggling to complete a project fast, well, or cheaply enough. Redefining success means celebrating baby steps, approaching problems from new angles, and taking into account your own personal struggles and life situation.
Going places with no static 